Back on that cliff
by PenFromTheAshes
Summary: It's been a long day, but Hawkmoth sends out an akuma anyway- a girl named Worst Nightmare. Yeesh. What happens when Chat gets hit? Some good ol' angst. Set in free-verse poetry, like everything else I write, apparently. Band-aids not included. (Rated T because it does get heavy in the middle, but nothing inappropriate happens or is implied.)


**(Author's note: This gets heavy in the middle but don't worry, it ends with some fluff :)**

* * *

 **Chat Noir:**

During

 _Grabbing  
grasping  
slipping  
edge  
of the cliff  
edge of insanity  
screaming your name  
"I'll be okay"  
no  
you won't  
you're falling  
stop falling  
I'm crying  
stop  
_crying _  
don't go._

* * *

 ****10 Minutes Before

It was just another day  
school  
photo shoots  
back home  
I'm tired  
but better  
better than usual  
there hasn't been an akuma all day,  
which means  
tonight  
there will be one  
and I have many puns and pick-up lines  
regarding the stars  
like the beautiful stars in your eyes when you smile  
or how my love extends beyond the moon  
beyond Jupiter  
beyond the edge of the galaxy  
beyond-

Plagg groans.  
"Just write  
 _to infinity and beyond  
_ and get it over with, would you?  
And turn the TV on.  
I'm bored."  
I sigh  
do what he asks  
"Anything else, your highness?"  
"Yeah.  
Turn the TV off."  
I glance at it  
the news channel shows  
a warning  
another akuma attack on the city  
I smile  
I shouldn't-  
but I do.

* * *

6 Minutes Before

The akuma is a girl  
who would maybe look cute in the day  
but now is tinted green  
and I can't tell  
if that's my night-vision or not  
but she's standing in the street  
laughing evilly  
they all do that  
as if they could win  
as if anyone could beat you  
you haven't arrived yet  
I won't wait  
smiling  
leaping off a roof  
"It's a little late to be up, isn't it?"

"Oh,  
aren't _you_ just a  
 _dream._ "  
she giggles  
raises her blanket  
pulls it over her head like a ghost and-  
 _disappears_  
oh boy.  
"BOO!"  
I pivot  
behind me is the girl  
blanket clutched between small hands, fanged teeth grinning-  
Wait.  
"Who are you?"  
"Your _Worst Nightmare!_ "  
laughter  
and my stomach sinks  
this may not be as easy as I thought.

* * *

3 Minutes Before

We stand shoulder-to-shoulder  
touching  
sharing support  
facing the akuma  
ready for  
anything  
she might throw at us  
her blanket is tied like a cape  
and she pulls it in front of her  
so we can only see  
her eyes  
you bite back a yawn  
I bite back a grin,  
"You go around behind, and  
I'll distract her.  
The usual."  
you shrug  
I take it as a yes.

I step forwards  
hand behind me  
ready to grab my baton  
smiling at the girl  
she smiles back  
I wish she wouldn't-  
it gives me goosebumps.

Her outfit is as black as mine  
so we would make an awesome team at hide-and-seek  
I point this out to her.  
"Oh. . .  
but I'm not the one who's hiding  
or the one  
you'll be seeking."  
my smile fades.  
nodding slowly I  
pull my baton out  
she's  
too creepy to talk with.

I run at her,  
hoping to maybe corner her  
against a house  
because I could see you coming  
standing on the roof  
at the ready.  
The girl laughs  
and doesn't flinch as I run closer  
and closer  
smiling at me  
(should I stop?)  
…and closer  
(nah.)  
I leap, hoping to pin her under me but  
she winks  
 _poof_  
and  
the night goes black.

* * *

During

 _Hands sweaty  
"Come back!"  
you haven't fallen yet  
but  
I miss you already  
beautiful dark hair  
blue eyes  
welling  
tears  
spilling  
beep-beep  
time's up  
mask off  
-oh no  
I can't look  
close my eyes…  
". . . Chat . . ."  
…and open them._

* * *

30 Seconds Before

What?  
I look around  
and it is so dark  
but I blink, and it is tinted green again  
and I can see  
but barely  
I climb to my feet  
and I ache,  
like I'd just carried the weight of the world.

The city lights are in the distance  
was I thrown?  
teleported?  
I start walking back-  
 _"Chat!"_  
whip around  
your eyes are wide  
so are mine  
"How-"  
and then the ground shakes  
and you fall  
before my eyes.

But then I'm there  
grabbing  
grasping  
slipping  
edge  
of the cliff  
edge of insanity  
screaming your name. . .

* * *

During

"I'll be okay"  
no  
you won't  
you're falling  
stop falling  
I'm crying  
stop  
 _crying_  
don't go.

Snatching at the grass  
dirt  
rocks  
anything  
please don't go  
I'll pull you up  
ground slipping  
you shout  
"Let me go before  
you fall  
too."  
not too  
nobody is falling  
especially not you

Hands sweaty  
"Come back!"  
you haven't fallen yet  
but  
I miss you already  
beautiful dark hair  
blue eyes  
welling  
tears  
spilling  
beep-beep  
time's up  
mask off  
-oh no  
I can't look  
close my eyes…  
". . . Chat . . ."  
…and open them.

Marinette?  
 _No no no_  
"It's okay-"  
it isn't  
it really isn't  
I'm yanking  
weak  
I'm too weak  
can't do it  
I have to-  
"Chat."

I'm crying too hard  
can't speak  
my baton gone  
must've  
been lost in the fight  
so useless  
trying to tell your kwami to find it  
she's buzzing besides me  
but I  
can't speak  
sobbing  
stop  
crying  
I'm pulling  
almost have you  
have you  
love you.

An explosion  
rocks the ground  
we fall  
back to the edge  
edge  
edge of insanity  
"Marinette, I can't-"  
I can hear the akuma  
behind us  
in the city  
cackling.

Angry  
grabbing your arm  
"You're hurting me, Kitty."  
STOP  
stop being so calm  
you can't-  
 _I_ can't-  
oh-  
"Marinette-"  
"It's okay."  
stop saying that  
 _I can't_  
can't speak  
can't think  
can't save you.

"NO!"  
your Kwami squeezes its eyes  
I grab your hand  
but it's harder now  
you don't have  
accelerated strength  
So  
you  
try  
to let go.

I grab your arms  
try  
to pull you up  
by the elbows  
the cliff shakes  
your Kwami is crying  
They can cry?  
not as hard as I am  
trying to pull you up.

Come on  
no  
don't push me away  
No  
why is your Kwami-  
NO  
"The _cliff,_ Chat-"  
 **NO** _  
_I can't even talk  
sobbing  
tugging  
yanking  
 ** _NO_**  
come back  
 _come back-_  
NO  
Slipping  
slipped  
 _No_  
Ladybug-  
 _Marinette-_  
no.

I can't talk  
or I'd  
tell your Kwami to leave me alone  
pushing me away  
from the cliff crumbling under my feet  
from you  
Ow  
she poked me?  
accident  
earrings-  
Earrings?  
your Kwami is holding your miraculous  
they saved it  
why couldn't they save-  
…no.

 _I-_  
 _I_ couldn't-  
 _I_ messed up  
 _I_ couldn't save-

. . .

Choking in this suit  
I hate it  
black and dumb and useless  
Deactivate  
Plagg is crying  
and he has feelings  
and I wish I didn't  
as I am pushed away  
from the edge  
from you  
Marinette  
Marinette, I love you  
and yet I am  
blinking  
stumbling  
away.

I'm sorry.

* * *

 **Ladybug:  
** 10 Minutes Before

It was a long day  
but a quiet one with no akumas,  
so I'm glad.  
I'm tired anyway,  
but I have homework  
and that  
comes first  
so here I am,  
scribbling math problems.  
Tikki  
is doing her best to  
stay up with me  
but she keeps nodding off  
until I tickle her awake.

I'm almost done when-  
 _screaming_  
echoes through the street  
Tikki jolts awake  
"That's…  
just your music, right?"  
I laugh nervously  
because  
it isn't  
and we both know it.

* * *

5 Minutes Before

It's so dark out here  
like all the street lamps  
just quit  
and I want my flashlight  
but someone might recognize it  
just possibly  
because I wrote _Marinette_ on it  
(with swirls and hearts and glitter)  
so I leave it at home.

I follow the yelling  
my stomach flipping  
because I am going to trip spectacularly  
and I'm too tired for this  
but here I am  
anyway.

Chat is on the ground  
I can see his bell  
shining  
they're arguing  
she laughs and disappears  
she reappears, screeching:  
" _Your Worst Nightmare!"_  
so I throw my yo-yo  
and join him.

* * *

3 Minutes Before

We stand shoulder-to-shoulder  
except I'm leaning on him  
just a little  
the girl glares at us just a few feet away  
I yawn  
Chat is beaming  
"You  
go around behind, and  
I'll  
distract her."  
and I'm too tired to argue,  
so he runs with it.

So, with a _zip!_ I am above,  
on the rooftops  
again  
and wait for the mocking  
arguing  
teasing  
But they barely talk  
before  
he whips out his stick  
runs  
leaps  
freezes midair  
and falls to the ground…  
g.

* * *

During

" _CHAT!"_  
I run off the roof  
stumbling  
slipping  
frantic in the dark  
and he's face-first on the ground  
so I grab him  
flip him over  
his eyes are closed  
his eyebrows scrunched  
he's frowning  
mumbling  
but _  
breathing._

I laugh in relief  
someone else laughs, too  
and oh.  
ohh, all those words my parents  
would never let me say  
all of them  
are running through my mind  
and  
still hunched over my partner,  
I turn  
the girl grins.

" _What did you do?"_  
"I warned him! It's  
his  
 _worst nightmare."_  
giggles  
she _giggles_  
and my stomach flips and my head is buzzing but I'm standing anyway  
standing very still  
her smile fades  
and I know it's not okay  
(Tikki told me countless times)  
not to take out anger  
on a villain  
but  
there is a lot  
she scared me with that move  
I thought he might've been-  
well.  
I'm  
just boiling over  
and  
 _she was giggling at the pain._

* * *

 **Chat Noir:  
** During

I'm stumbling through the dark  
alone  
the kwamis disappeared  
don't know where they went  
don't know how long they'll take  
don't really care.

My arms are tingling  
as if they fell asleep  
while I'm walking  
just  
gave out on me  
oh well  
doesn't everything?

I follow the city lights  
everything looms  
and somehow  
I find myself home  
don't know what else to do, so  
I raise my hand  
knock  
no-one answers  
keep knocking  
inside are footsteps  
they open the door  
It's Nathalie  
and she is scowling.

I stand very still  
waiting  
maybe for a rebuke  
for leaving the house so late  
or a concern  
it doesn't matter  
just something  
a reaction  
but she is just frowning,  
looking around the porch  
sighs angrily  
closes the door.

I knock again  
hands sweating  
she swings the door open  
Father's voice from inside:  
"Who is it?"  
she shakes her head  
"There's Nobody here"  
and slams the door.

Oh.  
maybe-  
maybe it does matter.

* * *

 **Ladybug:  
** During

The girl has backed away  
ran down a side street  
so I pull Chat  
carry him carefully to the side  
he's crying  
whispering, again and again-  
 _"I'm sorry."_

I'm scared  
I don't know what it means  
but I will find out  
or  
better:  
I will cleanse the akuma and undo it all  
where everything gets fixed  
I nod  
that will work  
that _has to_ work  
and run after the girl.

It's still so dark  
shadows  
no stars  
just  
things on the ground,  
waiting  
to be tripped over  
and after the third time  
I angrily yell  
 _"Lucky Charm!"_  
and I'm rewarded with night-vision goggles.

She's in the park  
head whipping back and forth  
like she's looking for someone  
I don't say anything  
just walk  
she pauses  
turns  
waves  
raises her blanket-

-which I knock  
to the ground  
with my yo-yo.

Before she can move,  
I have it  
she shrieks-  
I tear it  
out comes the butterfly  
 _swish_  
purify  
 _swish_  
good-bye.

The Akuma de-transforms  
into a girl  
roughly my age  
looks nice enough  
and her actions?  
probably just Hawkmoth,  
not her  
and she's lost  
and confused  
and I should guide her back to her house.

". . .Ladybug? Where am I?"  
But.  
But I want to go back  
to the street  
 _she was just  
used._  
 _Help her._  
I don't want to…  
but it's my job.

"You  
were akumatized by  
Hawkmoth.  
Where do you live?"  
Fake smiles  
as we swing  
questions  
"Did I hurt anyone?"  
fake answers  
"No."  
and it's hard to lie  
because I've never really had to  
but-  
"You had an awesome costume,  
though.  
Too bad  
nobody got to see it."

And then she is gone  
and my earrings are beeping  
but I don't care  
and then I am down the street  
unable to see anything.

* * *

 **Chat Noir:  
** After

There is a rush  
a quick flash of pink light  
then the darkness returns  
only slightly  
marred by stars.

I blink and realize  
my costume  
somehow,  
I must've put it back on  
but why?  
I'm  
choking in this suit.  
I hate it.  
black and dumb and useless  
as that fellow  
who couldn't-

Anyway.  
the girl  
who is invincible and amazing and strong and stubborn  
doesn't need this suit anyway  
or anyone in it  
yet  
as I close my eyes to de-transform  
I hear her voice.

"Hey!  
Chat!"  
so I open my eyes  
and  
and she is there  
 _you_ are there  
smiling and stumbling slightly  
as you put your yo-yo away  
"You're okay!"  
but then  
your smile fades  
as I gawk at you  
you  
who's standing there  
a little flushed, maybe  
but  
standing there.

Your head tilts to the side  
when I don't respond  
with a joke  
 _("Of course I am! I have nine lives,  
you know.")_  
or a wink and a head toss  
something I used to do  
but I can't do anymore  
because  
because you fell  
but you didn't fall?  
because you're standing right there?  
and are you okay?  
because now you're frowning  
looking really concerned  
because maybe I'm not okay?

* * *

 **Ladybug:  
** After

"Kitty?"  
he stares at me  
looking  
like he'd seen a ghost  
he's still on the ground  
on the sidewalk where I'd dragged him  
but he doesn't even notice  
his eyes are watering  
and he's whispering  
 _"Ladybug."_

Is-  
is he playing,  
being dramatic  
like yesterday,  
when he pretended to swoon when I smiled  
then tripped and fell off a roof?  
that was funny  
but this isn't funny  
and my throat is dry  
because  
 _"What happened?"_

So  
I crouch next to him  
and he glances away  
scoots away  
leans on the building behind us  
his voice cracks-  
"the Akuma…"  
"She's gone. I healed her. Everything's  
normal  
again." I smile  
he doesn't  
he closes his eyes  
and asks-  
"It was fake?"

"Yeah.  
Wait-  
what happened?  
what was fake?"  
his hands ball into fists at his sides  
glares across the street  
I wait  
but I won't wait for long  
because  
after that heart-attack  
I need to make sure  
Is my partner okay?  
because right now  
neither of us  
look exactly  
 _okay._

"Fake."  
he laughs  
no humor  
"A game."  
and he chokes  
the laugh  
melts  
into a tear  
his eyes closing, mine  
widening  
"Chat-?"  
my stomach flipping uneasily  
He glances at me, then back across the street  
my gaze fades to my feet  
"You-"  
his breath catches  
I look up  
"-you died."

* * *

 **Chat Noir:  
** After

I try to talk  
but everything shudders instead  
I can't  
just mouthing words  
they won't come out  
I can't  
even look back you  
I can feel your gaze  
concern  
I'm such a jerk  
making you worry like this  
it's so late  
school tomorrow  
so  
I just wave at my throat  
"can't-"  
your hand on my shoulder cuts me off.  
"Just a second."  
and you're gone  
again.

The street is empty  
and dark despite my night-vision  
it looms, almost  
with buildings everywhere  
inside them?  
people  
families  
kids sleeping before school  
(I'll be exhausted)  
parents sleeping before work-  
oh  
oh no no no  
my father  
he'll check my room after an Akuma attack  
and he's going to find it empty  
because I'm right here  
and  
in so much trouble.

I'm climbing to my feet,  
shaky  
dizzy  
when you're back  
carrying a pink blanket,  
two pillows,  
and a tired smile.  
You make me sit back down,  
prop the pillows against the wall  
we share the blanket longways  
our feet sticking out  
because it isn't made for two.

I take a breath or two  
finally get some words out  
"We can't stay."  
"We can."  
a small smile  
matter-of-fact  
you nestle in, curl your legs up  
our knees brush  
my heart bounces  
maybe  
maybe we can stay  
just once will be okay  
just a break  
just a rest  
just a talk  
just  
just one night.

So I talk  
it takes forever  
my voice cracks again and again  
and again and  
again.  
I feel like I'm punched in the stomach  
again and again  
and again and  
again.  
I break off and cry and can't talk  
again and again  
and again and  
again.  
But you wait  
right next to me  
patient  
never interrupting  
even at the part  
where your mask comes off  
you listen  
and when I'm finally done  
when the last dumb bit is out  
when I finally look up at you  
your red-rimmed eyes meet mine  
when we both try to smile it away but can't  
you lean closer  
and under the blankets  
where no-one can see  
you grab my hand.  
" _It's okay."_

* * *

 **Ladybug:  
** After

We sit there for another hour  
or three  
and the stars grow dimmer  
the sky brighter  
it's time to go  
but  
we're not ready  
so  
maybe just a few more minutes…

When I left to get the blankets,  
I let Tikki recharge,  
but that was hours ago  
she needs sleep  
his kwami needs sleep  
I need sleep  
he needs-  
oh.  
He is asleep.

Maybe half an hour ago he leaned his head on mine  
I didn't say anything  
because maybe we could both use a break  
and I'm glad I didn't  
but now  
well,  
school's about to start.  
Gently,  
I let go of his hand  
tap his shoulder  
tap  
 _z z z_  
tap  
 _z_  
tap.  
tap.  
tap.  
his eyes flutter open  
"Kitty. . ."  
"…oh. Sorry…"  
he scoots away, rubbing his head  
he glances back  
green eyes almost red from the night.

We stumble to our feet, taking  
s _h_ a _k_ y  
breaths.  
I gather my stuff  
he rubs his back, stiffens.  
"My baton…?"  
it's across the street  
still there from when he was hit and dropped so still  
it flashes in my face  
horrible reminders.

And then,  
even though neither of us wants to,  
we have to go our separate ways,  
back to our houses  
our schools  
our lives  
maybe today Hawkmoth will sleep in?  
ha,  
Hahaha.  
anyway.  
as we step away  
back to the routines  
which will be different, because it's not just a  
"See you later, Kitty."  
it's also something else  
and whoop, Tikki might not like it  
and if she doesn't,  
oh well  
because  
because it'll have to be okay,  
and I know it'll be okay,  
when he says  
"Bye, Princess." 

The End

* * *

 **(Author's note: Fun fact! I used the word "can't" 22 times!** **  
**

 **... yeah, sorry.)**


End file.
